Letters of rec are probably the most underlerveraged (and consequently underutilized) tools in the Ivy League admissions process.

There’s a simple reason why – most students are afraid of their teachers/coaches/bosses. They’re afraid of requesting what they really want – an incredible, memorable letter of rec that highlights strengths and re-affirms the student’s spike.

Part of the solution is to get over yourself. Be courageous. That’s something personal that this article won’t be able to help you achieve.

But I can help you with the actual steps. And following these steps will markedly increase your chance of getting the exact letter of recommendation you’d hoped for – one that Stanford, Harvard, and the best schools around the world will enjoy reading.

Here are the steps:

1. Identify the teachers/coaches who a) know you well and b) you were the strongest performer in their classes. These recommenders will always write the best letters. Hopefully they’re the same people that sponsor afterschool activities in which you participate. If not, approach some of them to sponsor new clubs that you’d be starting.

2. Have your parents meet with that teacher/coach. I didn’t do this, but in retrospect I should have. Teacher-parent conferences are a helpful way to strengthen the student-teacher connection, and a great way for parents to indirectly express their concerns/wishes (and their kid’s wishes) to the teacher. Just make sure this type of meeting isn’t too aggressive. I actually remember reading teacher recommendations which casually referenced controlling parents…these don’t go over too well with your plans to get into Harvard

3. Prepare a packet addressed individually to that teacher. In a letter, talk about the following things:

-What universities and why – in more than just a few words

-Why you’d like that teacher to write the recommendation

-A few achievements that you’re most proud of, and any successes that were either in that teacher’s classes or sponsored clubs

-What your overall story is for the Ivy Leagues

4. Prepare a brag-sheet. This should be the exact same one for Common Applications. Attach this for additional context

5. Schedule an in-person meeting with your teacher when asking them to write the recommendation. In this talk, make sure you cover items similar to Step #3 – why you’re applying to Ivy League universities, why you think you should get in, what your story is that you’re telling admissions readers, and why you thought they’d be a great recommender. Don’t simply ask them to write a letter, smile politely, and leave it at that. This in-person meeting is crucial to providing your teacher more info about your particular interests

6. GIVE YOUR TEACHER PLENTY OF TIME TO WRITE THE LETTER. A week is too fast. A month should be fine. This is yet another example of how early planning is necessary for Ivy League colleges

7. Followup politely. If you haven’t heard a response from Mrs. Davidson or Mr. Gonzalez and there’s 4 weeks before application deadlines, politely inquire about the status of your rec

8. Thank them profusely! Give them a little card and/or gift to express your appreciation. After all, this may not be the last time you’ll ask for their help and they’ve just done something for which they receive nothing in return

Step 5 is particularly critical. Do everything else wrong, but as long as you execute Step 5 well, your recommender will have the info and context they require to write something thats personal and shows they care. After reading thousands of these letters, you can quickly spot the genuine, heartfelt ones versus the form ones.